Ah yes, I'm just about to start writing a paper, so of course, I must procrastinate just a little bit more by spewing into blogspace. Of course, I've been just about starting this here paper for almost 2 hours now...I spent the morning finishing up some research, took a little nap, woke up at 1:45, and was like "Yeah man! I can totally finish this baby today! Let's go!" And...went to make lunch. Then realized I wasn't hungry, stared at said lunch for awhile, eventually ate lunch...and frittered away time on facebook and looking at the requirements for the paper over, and over, and over again. That said, things were percolating in my head. So it was productive in terms of creative progress, just not in terms of words-on-page progress.
But now I am here, on the big comfy couch (I think I'm gonna look for a new couch with my birthday money in January...release the parental hand-me-downs to Hil and Maclean), laptop on (you guessed it) lap, blankies all 'round, phone handy so I don't have to get up if it rings, books piled on all sides, research notes scattered around, Supertramp on the record player (did I mention James brought home a record player for me from work?!!! AND that I found the records?! Hooray!). Ugh...just noticed kitchen lights are on and I should probably go be responsible and turn them off so as not to waste money and energy. But, coincidentally, the Supertramp needs to be turned over, so, it's as good a time as any to get up.
It's amazing how much useless blather I can produce in like, 2 minutes, when it takes me painful hours to write the useful stuff. Honestly, if this was double spaced, 1-inch margins, 12 pt font, I'd be halfway through page 2 by now...
So, here's the semi-intelligent, quasi-philosophical part of the post (I was reflecting the other day on how I called the blog "Big Thinks" and have lately filled it with fluff). Usually when I'm into papers and heavy schoolwork, I think of all the other things I'd rather be doing, which is in the big picture, parenting. So, this morning I was looking at other people's baby pictures on facebook, and James says "Baby baby baby...all I hear is baby baby baby...well...paper paper baby baby paper..." Later while I was researching, I was reading some woman's thesis on how women need divine figures that are complex females to develop a healthy sense of self, and she was arguing that Christianity doesn't provide this for women because the only major feminine figure in Christianity is Mary, and we only see her in the role of a mother, not as a sexualized, fully human being. The author was saying that men have an image to seek to shape their identity towards in God/Jesus, but women don't have an equivalent. Personally, I disagree. I don't believe that we can consider God "male", as he is outside of humanity. I think that God encompasses both feminine and masculine traits. I think that this is one of the reasons we gravitate toward marriage relationship with the opposite sex, as a way of mirroring the wholeness that is found in God and a way of reflecting his image and participating in his character. (I know that sounds a little yin-and-yangy...but I think there is truth to it). As I was reflecting on the character of God, and the wholeness that we see in his character and the trinity, I was thinking about the fact that there is the parent-child aspect of the trinity too. God's loving, nurturing character as expressed through Jesus is so important. Being made in God's image, I believe we have those characteristics planted in us too. Therefore, because I am made in God's image, I want babies. (disclaimer - I am not claiming that EVERYONE is called to marriage or parenthood, because I know that is certainly not the case - please don't read this as saying that those are the proper ways to take part in the character of God - they are A way).
So. Now on to the stuff that contributes to my grades.....
Friday, December 7
Monday, December 3
I better be really smart at the end of this...
So, I think this has officially been the hardest semester of my university career. I'm not exactly sure why, but for some reason, despite the fact that I feel like I am constantly doing school work, I am perpetually behind, which is foreign to me. But it's almost over. The 17th, is fast approaching. This week alone is just madness. I have a paper due today (which I am just about to start...bring on the long night), then an exam on Saturday, and final papers due next Monday and Tuesday. I haven't quite figured out how I'm going to adequately study and research/write two papers, and go to work, but, I guess I'll find out! Next semester is going to be so much more manageable...I can't wait.
hehehe...Charlie loves the snow. He has never spent so much time outside without one of us to entertain him. He's out there frolicking and eating the snow. It's very funny.
I am SO looking forward to finishing exams so we can finally get settled in our house! James is going to finish the floor in the master bedroom next week sometime, so we can actually unpack and take all of the extra furniture out of the would-be dining room...and then when I'm done school I'm going to paint/wallpaper/make pretty the main living room/dining areas, and this place will finally be liveable! Not that it's not know, we're just limited to 2 rooms. It will be nice to be fully unpacked. And have my PIANO!!!!
Ok. That was my little distraction before delving into this paper. I go a little crazy at home by myself with only books and animals to talk to...this way I can pretend that I've actually interacted with people out there, somewhere...
stay warm,
Rae
hehehe...Charlie loves the snow. He has never spent so much time outside without one of us to entertain him. He's out there frolicking and eating the snow. It's very funny.
I am SO looking forward to finishing exams so we can finally get settled in our house! James is going to finish the floor in the master bedroom next week sometime, so we can actually unpack and take all of the extra furniture out of the would-be dining room...and then when I'm done school I'm going to paint/wallpaper/make pretty the main living room/dining areas, and this place will finally be liveable! Not that it's not know, we're just limited to 2 rooms. It will be nice to be fully unpacked. And have my PIANO!!!!
Ok. That was my little distraction before delving into this paper. I go a little crazy at home by myself with only books and animals to talk to...this way I can pretend that I've actually interacted with people out there, somewhere...
stay warm,
Rae
Monday, November 12
Free Rice, Word Nerds!
FreeRice is a sister site of the world poverty site, Poverty.com.
FreeRice has two goals:
1. Provide English vocabulary to everyone for free.
2. Help end world hunger by providing rice to hungry people for free.
This is made possible by the sponsors who advertise on the site.
Whether you're the CEO of a large corporation or a self employed street bum, improving your vocabulary can improve your life. It's a great investment in yourself.
Perhaps even greater is the investment your donated rice makes in hungry human beings, enabling them to function and be productive. Somewhere in the world, a person is eating rice that you helped provide... for nothing.
Visit the site, and do something positive today other than achieving a new high score on Guitar Hero. http://www.freerice.com/in
Thursday, October 25
excuse me while I rant for a moment...
(Preface: I am incredibly aware of and thankful for the privilege and blessing of being able to have a post-secondary education. )
So, I'm sitting in a class that wastes approximately 2.6 hours of my time on a weekly basis. The topic is fantastic, the readings are fantastic, the people in the class are fantastic, the professor is extremely knowledgeable...and yet, his weekly stream of consciousness blathering is less than fantastic. If it wasn't for the participation mark, I wouldn't need to be here - he doesn't even test on his lecture material, there's no midterm or final, I'm just warming my seat for 10% of my mark. In the meantime, I have been able to order some textbooks on amazon, which I needed to get done, so, I suppose that's good.
Education is a wonderful thing, but I am constantly amazed and frustrated by the structure/system of the undergraduate world. I don't understand how one is expected to function within this system. It makes me angry that I cannot both live a healthy, balanced lifestyle, and complete the bare minimum of my school work. Is it unrealistic to want to be able to cook proper meals (as in, not pre-packaged and frozen), walk the dog, read the newspaper,
and keep my home sort of in an orderly fashion, while I go to school work? I don't think so...and yet, if I break to do these things, I have constantly hanging over my head the reading not yet done, the assignment soon due, the studying I should do. I am amazed by students who somehow manage to complete their work, volunteer in the community, participate in school activities, and maintain their friendships. I'm finding the demands of a full course-load on its own overwhelming and unattainable.
It frustrates me to be in a program (Global Studies) that is constantly opening my eyes to many of the problems and injustices of our world, related to environmental and consumer issues, and yet after I read about and respond to these issues in my papers and assignments, I don't have the time to make changes in my own lifestyle to do my part in dealing with these issues. While I know I should be walking to the market to by locally grown food, it's all I can do to swing by the grocery store on my way home and grab a frozen pizza and a bag of baby carrots. While I know it's best for me to spend the time to by second-hand clothes and not be participating in some of the oppressive systems of capitalistic production, I don't have the time to look through rack after rack and maybe find a sweater that will work, when I know that I can run into a store in the mall, pick my size and colour, and leave. Despite my awareness that walking/busing places is possible and better for me and my world, the packed schedule I have right now makes it practically impossible to get everything in without the car. It is increasingly frustrating to have the awareness that comes with my education and be limited in my actions because of the demands of that same education. ARG!
So, that's my rant today. While I am so grateful for the ability to go to school, I am so ready to be done and put my learning in action. Instead of reading and writing about the problems of the world, I'd really like to be able to rearrange my own lifestyle in my own little corner of the world in an effort to live responsibly. Get me out of the world of ideas and into the world of actions!
So, I'm sitting in a class that wastes approximately 2.6 hours of my time on a weekly basis. The topic is fantastic, the readings are fantastic, the people in the class are fantastic, the professor is extremely knowledgeable...and yet, his weekly stream of consciousness blathering is less than fantastic. If it wasn't for the participation mark, I wouldn't need to be here - he doesn't even test on his lecture material, there's no midterm or final, I'm just warming my seat for 10% of my mark. In the meantime, I have been able to order some textbooks on amazon, which I needed to get done, so, I suppose that's good.
Education is a wonderful thing, but I am constantly amazed and frustrated by the structure/system of the undergraduate world. I don't understand how one is expected to function within this system. It makes me angry that I cannot both live a healthy, balanced lifestyle, and complete the bare minimum of my school work. Is it unrealistic to want to be able to cook proper meals (as in, not pre-packaged and frozen), walk the dog, read the newspaper,
and keep my home sort of in an orderly fashion, while I go to school work? I don't think so...and yet, if I break to do these things, I have constantly hanging over my head the reading not yet done, the assignment soon due, the studying I should do. I am amazed by students who somehow manage to complete their work, volunteer in the community, participate in school activities, and maintain their friendships. I'm finding the demands of a full course-load on its own overwhelming and unattainable.
It frustrates me to be in a program (Global Studies) that is constantly opening my eyes to many of the problems and injustices of our world, related to environmental and consumer issues, and yet after I read about and respond to these issues in my papers and assignments, I don't have the time to make changes in my own lifestyle to do my part in dealing with these issues. While I know I should be walking to the market to by locally grown food, it's all I can do to swing by the grocery store on my way home and grab a frozen pizza and a bag of baby carrots. While I know it's best for me to spend the time to by second-hand clothes and not be participating in some of the oppressive systems of capitalistic production, I don't have the time to look through rack after rack and maybe find a sweater that will work, when I know that I can run into a store in the mall, pick my size and colour, and leave. Despite my awareness that walking/busing places is possible and better for me and my world, the packed schedule I have right now makes it practically impossible to get everything in without the car. It is increasingly frustrating to have the awareness that comes with my education and be limited in my actions because of the demands of that same education. ARG!
So, that's my rant today. While I am so grateful for the ability to go to school, I am so ready to be done and put my learning in action. Instead of reading and writing about the problems of the world, I'd really like to be able to rearrange my own lifestyle in my own little corner of the world in an effort to live responsibly. Get me out of the world of ideas and into the world of actions!
Thursday, October 4
"nobody cares about your blog"...
...or so a t-shirt told me today. Seems to be true, as apparently nobody actually reads these :P
It's beautiful out there today. I can't wait for the weekend, to just get outside and enjoy it. This week has been a little nutso, SO much to do. I've gotten through it bit by bit. I have one more assignment due tomorrow, then I'm working in the evening, and then blessed Saturday arrives...I can't wait. James and I have been working towards trying to keep a Sabbath day once a week, it's so healthy (especially lately the way school has been). The thought of taking Charlie for a hike on Saturday is what's keeping me going.
I'm in class. I thought I had something to say, but, can't think of anything right now...I think it was just about being nice out today. I sat outside under a tree in the sunshine and finished my reading on my lunch break, it was quite nice. And my drive today was gorgeous. It was all foggy, and you would get snippets of blue/gray and then all the colours of the leaves. Quite pretty.
It's beautiful out there today. I can't wait for the weekend, to just get outside and enjoy it. This week has been a little nutso, SO much to do. I've gotten through it bit by bit. I have one more assignment due tomorrow, then I'm working in the evening, and then blessed Saturday arrives...I can't wait. James and I have been working towards trying to keep a Sabbath day once a week, it's so healthy (especially lately the way school has been). The thought of taking Charlie for a hike on Saturday is what's keeping me going.
I'm in class. I thought I had something to say, but, can't think of anything right now...I think it was just about being nice out today. I sat outside under a tree in the sunshine and finished my reading on my lunch break, it was quite nice. And my drive today was gorgeous. It was all foggy, and you would get snippets of blue/gray and then all the colours of the leaves. Quite pretty.
Tuesday, October 2
My cat was on fire...
...no, literally, my cat was just on fire. Burnt cat hair stinks.
So, I have an uber-ridiculous amount of school work to do this week, which is leading me to contemplate not going to my class this afternoon, being as I haven't even touched the reading, and, to drive to Waterloo for one 90 minute class when you haven't read the material seems kind of silly when I have two other assignments to do. We'll see. James would like it 'cause he could have the car. Charlie would like it 'cause he wouldn't be alone. Monty...may not like it, being as if I am at home he is more likely to be on fire.
So I've hunkered down in my little house with my books, laptop, cup of coffee, warm socks, hoodie, laptop, cbc in the background, candles lit ( our house smells really musty...I'm trying to combat the musty smell). Everything to make my study experience more comfortable.
And then the cat jumped onto the coffee table, and went to walk across it, which would be ok if he just walked across it. But instead he stopped, right over the candles. I assumed he would feel hot and keep going. Nope. Not until half the side of his body was flaming. Very briefly, but still, there was indeed a flaming cat on my coffee table a few minutes ago.
Burnt cat hair stinks.
So, I have an uber-ridiculous amount of school work to do this week, which is leading me to contemplate not going to my class this afternoon, being as I haven't even touched the reading, and, to drive to Waterloo for one 90 minute class when you haven't read the material seems kind of silly when I have two other assignments to do. We'll see. James would like it 'cause he could have the car. Charlie would like it 'cause he wouldn't be alone. Monty...may not like it, being as if I am at home he is more likely to be on fire.
So I've hunkered down in my little house with my books, laptop, cup of coffee, warm socks, hoodie, laptop, cbc in the background, candles lit ( our house smells really musty...I'm trying to combat the musty smell). Everything to make my study experience more comfortable.
And then the cat jumped onto the coffee table, and went to walk across it, which would be ok if he just walked across it. But instead he stopped, right over the candles. I assumed he would feel hot and keep going. Nope. Not until half the side of his body was flaming. Very briefly, but still, there was indeed a flaming cat on my coffee table a few minutes ago.
Burnt cat hair stinks.
Friday, September 14
Too much time to think
Yes, I still have an assignment to do. I can't believe I'm on here AGAIN. A little pathetic.
So, today. No classes, therefore, official work day. Great morning, very productive. Sat on the porch with my books and laptop and got lots done. James went to work around 12:30, and my day just went downhill from there...I worked for a bit, then I stopped to make cookies (a reasonable break). I didn't know it was possible to kill chocolate chip cookies the way I did today. They turned out HORRIBLY! And as for my non-stick pans...I disagree. I have one pan that is still covered with cracker-thin burnt "cookies" that I CANNOT get off except to chip them off in tiny pieces with a knife, also removing the "non-stick" coating. urgh. Anyway, that was a bit of a sidenote.
So, I got back to work for a bit, but I can only take sitting alone with my laptop for so long before I start to get bored and go crazy, so I visit facebook, I blog, I wander aimlessly around my house, I try to call a few people...
And then I just get really lonely. And I start to think about the fact that I haven't spent much time with anyone besides James lately, even though I know there are people in Hamilton who I would love to spend time with, and that there are groups of people I know who have gotten together this week, and I just feel like I don't know how to become a part of those relationships. Do I need to put myself out there better? And how? How am I so relationally-challenged? I just wish that on night's like this when I'm feeling crumby and going nuts from being at home all day there was someone I knew well enough to call up and be like "Hey! I'm going nutso from being alone! Wanna hang out?"
This is so ridiculous! I need to take "friend-making 101" or something.
Ok. Now that I've got that off my chest, I should do something productive...like scrape cookies off a pan :P Wanna help...?
So, today. No classes, therefore, official work day. Great morning, very productive. Sat on the porch with my books and laptop and got lots done. James went to work around 12:30, and my day just went downhill from there...I worked for a bit, then I stopped to make cookies (a reasonable break). I didn't know it was possible to kill chocolate chip cookies the way I did today. They turned out HORRIBLY! And as for my non-stick pans...I disagree. I have one pan that is still covered with cracker-thin burnt "cookies" that I CANNOT get off except to chip them off in tiny pieces with a knife, also removing the "non-stick" coating. urgh. Anyway, that was a bit of a sidenote.
So, I got back to work for a bit, but I can only take sitting alone with my laptop for so long before I start to get bored and go crazy, so I visit facebook, I blog, I wander aimlessly around my house, I try to call a few people...
And then I just get really lonely. And I start to think about the fact that I haven't spent much time with anyone besides James lately, even though I know there are people in Hamilton who I would love to spend time with, and that there are groups of people I know who have gotten together this week, and I just feel like I don't know how to become a part of those relationships. Do I need to put myself out there better? And how? How am I so relationally-challenged? I just wish that on night's like this when I'm feeling crumby and going nuts from being at home all day there was someone I knew well enough to call up and be like "Hey! I'm going nutso from being alone! Wanna hang out?"
This is so ridiculous! I need to take "friend-making 101" or something.
Ok. Now that I've got that off my chest, I should do something productive...like scrape cookies off a pan :P Wanna help...?
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