Whining

I'm going to whine.

I know my life is not that bad.

I'm still going to complain.

That kid was up 5 times last night.

Yesterday I was hanging onto the fact that he was still napping well.  He decided not to today, so I haven't got much left to hang onto.  He usually has a good morning nap; he goes down sometime between 7:30-8:30.  Maybe 9 if he slept a little later.

It was 10:45 today, and only after a good long walk in the wrap before he went to sleep.

And I have a headache, a sore throat, a job application to submit today, a line full of clothes to bring in 'cause there are no men around to do that today, and a disgustingly messy kitchen.  and bathroom.  and baby's room.  And I still haven't heard about the job I was interviewing for yesterday, and every other time that agency has been in touch with me within an hour, so I'm starting to worry...

There are still good things.

Like egg salad.

And potted mums.  I saw potted mums outside a convenience store.  My favourite season is coming!!!

Waupoos Island

We had an absolutely lovely vacation.

We shared a beautiful cottage on Waupoos Island with St. James' family.  It was one lovely week.  Waupoos Island is this neat little island in Prince Edward County (I know!  Twice in as many weeks!  We had scheduled this vacay a long time ago - it was just a fluke that we ended up visiting my parents there a couple of weeks ago).  The island is small; it has maybe 15 cottages on it, no stores, no paved roads, no phone service.  It's home to a giant herd of sheep, and about 10 goats.  I have to confess I was a little leary at the idea of spending a week on an island with my in-laws, but it turned out to be great.  We had a little boat to shuttle us back and forth to the mainland, which was about 5 minutes away.  We spent some days just chilling on the island, and went across to check out some of the beautiful tastes and sights of Prince Edward County.

It was everything a vacation should be.  I rested, I played, I ate good food, I enjoyed good company.  There was no phone, no TV, no internet (although there was a computer - St. James brought his laptop to play some games on, his chosen way to relax).  There were people to share meal-making and child care.  There was water nearby (I went for a couple good long swims - so nice not to have to turn around at the end of a lane!).  And there was time. Time spent evaluating life and thinking about what's important.

And here are some of the things I thought about and decided.

Less internet is a good thing.  

I walked into this beautiful cottage, and immediately started thinking about how I could blog about it.  What pictures I could take to showcase the beautiful decorating.  Instead, I journaled that night.  And I didn't even have to think about who might be reading and how I was presenting myself.  And I was able to reflect without being on a stage.  And that's a good thing (apparently this is a Martha Stewart phrase, which I was unaware of - I say it all the time.  There was a book of hers at the cottage titled "Good Things" that was full of, well, you can guess...good things one can make).  Anyway, I have resolved to spend less time on facebook.  I'm going to aim to try to only check in the morning, maybe at lunch, and once around supper time, then put it away and not check in the evening.  I'm also going to stop charging my iPhone in the bedroom so that I'm not looking at it in bed.  James and I often are sitting in bed, each staring at our own little screen, and that is ridiculous.

Less stuff is a good thing.

It was good to be in a nice, open space that wasn't cluttered.  It was good to know that we got by comfortably with the things we had taken with us.  I am going to start getting rid of stuff, left, right and centre.  If we borrowed something from you, you're getting it back.  If I don't need it, or it's not beautiful, it's not staying.

Less spending is a good thing.

Ok, so this is not something that we practiced while on vacation, but something we decided to do.  We have toyed with the idea of doing a spending fast a couple of times before, but never actually done it.  We're going to do it this time.  Between now and Christmas, we are not going to purchase anything other than food, hygiene necessities, and any baby essentials that come up.  There are a few things that we've decided we do need to buy (closet doors and baby gates now that that kid is on the move, a carrier that James is comfortable with - he's decided he'll babywear!, I may need some clothes if I start a new job).  We'll eat out twice a month, as that is something that our friends often do after church, and time with friends is important to us.  It's going to be tough!  James and I are both pretty bad at justifying purchases with "It was a really good deal!" or "We'll use it in the future!".  I'm also horrible at not planning meals carefully, and then buying prepared food or eating out 'cause it's easier.  I'll blog about the challenge - and I'm going to "confess" everything we buy in the next few months.  By not spending, we are hoping to take a significant chunk out of our debt, and move one step closer to the dream kitchen that is percolating in my mind.


More sleep is GREAT thing!
We slept!  Haydon slept!  He's figured out going to bed - FINALLY!  He had some great naps, and went to bed easily so that we could enjoy playing games with other adults in the evenings - THANK GOD!  He's still getting up twice in the night - although, there was one night, when he only got up at 2, and slept until 6 after that, and I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.  And he's also getting up pretttty early (like, 5?).  But, it's getting MUCH better.


And now we're back to life, back to reality.  My house feels cluttered and disorganized.  I have decisions to make about jobs that are overwhelming.  I have all these things that I want to do to make life full and more enjoyable - like decluttering and all that jazz, but they take time.  Trying to balance the desire to do my best with giving myself grace in the areas I can't always excel at is tricky.  But I am inspired and motivated to tackle life in a new way, and am excited to see what's to come.  


...and looking forward to our next vacation.  St. James and I booked a B&B in Stratford for our fifth anniversary.  Bring on October 15!

:-)

Life feels good again.

FINALLY!

I just spent a few days with my family (of origin) in Prince Edward County, and it was lovely.  My parents had their RV parked near Picton for the week, and my sister and I drove up on Wednesday to join them for a bit, and that was a good thing!  It was just good to be with more people to spread out the baby-care load, and it was good to be away from the chores of home, and it was good to spend some time looking at some of the beautiful art Prince Edward County has to offer.

My favourite studio was Armstrong Glassworks, and there was some BEAUTIFUL blown glass there.  I lovedLOVED his coloured pears.

And I want one...in every colour.

I'm also just really excited about life in general right now.  Being away gave me some time to think about what's important to me, and what I want to happen in life, and I have enjoyed thinking about those things, and how I'll make them happen.  I had a bunch of things that were in my head as "someday I'd like to..." and just realized that if I don't actually name them and make a plan for them to happen, they won't.

And so, in the next five years, and before we have our next baby, we will...

- go away for a weekend to celebrate our 5th anniversary (this October)
- pay off all of our school debt
- redo our kitchen
- go to Europe

I'm excited.  I've got the kitchen all planned out in my head.  And that excitement will fuel my fiscal responsibility, so that the school debt actually gets all paid off, and we can save up to make this beautiful dream kitchen a reality.

Finally, if you're a pray-er, I'm sitting down tomorrow to polish up my resume and write some cover letters.  The plan is that I will be our breadwinner starting in September.  Since I've started praying about and looking for jobs, I've come across three opportunities, all of which are really good fits in various ways.  Pray that my resumes will be well received, that I will get interview opportunities, and that the right doors are opened (and shut) to have me in the job that will be best for me, and for us, in September.

Monday, Monday

Whew.  It's been a while.  And a whirlwind.

Biggest excitement since I've last posted: a trip to the emergency room, and a gorgeous new baby carrier.

A couple of weeks ago, a friend got a new woven wrap.  I was already thinking I was ready for a new carrier, as Haydon's getting too heavy to carry on one shoulder in my slings, and our stretchy wrap was too, well, stretchy, for his weight.  I was thinking about a soft-structured carrier like an Ergo or a Beco, but when she started talking about how comfy and versatile her wrap was, I started to think I needed one.  Then I started reading about them on TheBabyWearer.com and I knew I needed one.  Then I spent endless hours on for-sale-or-trade forums looking at beautiful pieces of cloth and trying to figure out what I wanted.  Then someone told me about a sale at NovaNatural.com , so I was able to get a new one in a colour I liked for a decent price.  I ordered a BB Slen passion fruit woven wrap.
 And did a happy dance.
                                                                                     And then waited....

All last week, Haydon had frequent funny-looking green poops.  I wasn't too concerned about it, as we had started new cereal and he didn't seem to be uncomfortable, I thought he was just adjusting to the new food.  Saturday he came down with a fever, and was harder to settle to sleep than usual.  This was the first time he has ever been unwell (we have been so blessed thus far!).  I have always had a wild imagination, that takes me to worse case scenarios when the slightest thing happens.  As St. James and I were taking Haydon's temperature on Saturday night, in my head it was no time before we were in the hospital with him hooked up to endless wires and monitors for weeks on end.

I've been made aware of a couple of families recently who have young children undergoing chemo, which is probably why my mind went there when Haydon started to get sick.  I can't imagine what these families are going through - my heart goes out to them!  When I think about the amount of agonizing I did about a mere fever - do we give him Tylenol now?  Do we wait?  Do we go to the hospital?  Do we wait until Monday and call the doctor?   - I cannot even conceive of the decisions faced by parents of children who are struggling with long-term illness.

Anyway, Sunday morning, Haydon was still feverish.  And then he stopped peeing...After three dry diapers to which we responded with a "well, we'll see what the next one's like..." I called telehealth, around 10:00pm.  I knew that they would likely recommend that we head to the ER, and, sure enough, they did.  So, at 11:00pm, we made our first parental emergency room trip.

We are SO blessed to live in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada.  As we got into the car, I said to James how lucky we were to be in Canada, as there was no way we would've been heading to the hospital over a happy baby who hadn't peed in a while if we had to pay big money for it.  TeleHealth Ontario was also really helpful.  Although there was a wait of 15-20 minutes to talk to a nurse, and they called us back, rather than having to wait on the line all that time.  When she suggested we got to the hospital, she asked where we'd be going, and sent Haydon's chart with all the info she'd taken over the phone, so we didn't have to go through all of the questions again at the hospital.  Having Hamilton's McMaster Children's Hospital a 10 minute drive away is a huge blessing.  There was a separate waiting room for little ones, and the nurses were great.  The doctor was FANTASTIC!(I wish I had got her name!), and we were home by 1:30am.  If trips to the ER can be great, this one was.



We got there, headed in to see the triage nurse, took Haydon's diaper off for her to take his temperature...and it was wet.  This was a relief, but my "wait and see how things are in the morning" side was chastising my "err on the side of caution" side.  The doctor said that often happens, and she affirmed our choice to bring him in, so that was good.

                                                          

                                                              

                                                                                                                           Chillin' with our friend Sophie in the waiting room

So was being in bed when we got home.  I had gotten maybe 5.5 hours of interrupted sleep the night before, and was exhausted.    Haydon was up early, as usual, and as St. James had to go to work in the afternoon, I got up with Haydon and we just chilled out watching some TV (all I had energy for). St. James got up at 11 and I showered and stuff.  Then came upstairs and laid down for a nap as Haydon was sleeping...then my wonderful husband said he thought he should stay home from work as I hadn't gotten much sleep in the past couple of nights and could probably use an extra set of hands.  I didn't say no.

Just as I was drifting off to sleep, there was a BANG BANG BANG on the door.  I knew what it was...

St. James answered the door, chatted for awhile with the delivery guy, who happened to be the dad of someone he went to cadets with as a kid.  Then he brought up the box and set it on the bed beside me.

"Are you excited!?!"
"I'm trying to decide if I should be excited or asleep...."

He put the box in the corner and suggested sleep was probably the good idea.

I tried.

And then I thought about what was in the box.

And then I thought about the friend who I'd ordered one for who would want to know that the box was here.

And then I got up and dressed and sent her a message.

And then...

It's so comfy!  I love it.  Haydon does too.

 This was my first attempt at putting him in it, and it felt pretty good!

It's also so easy to get stuff done with him in it.  Way comfier than my other carriers.

Now I have time at home with my two favorite guys (one which is currently sleeping, the other cleaning the basement - I told you they're both awesome), and a new toy to play with.  

Life is good!

Frick

I just spent WAY TOO LONG typing a ridiculously long post that I managed to delete right before I was about to post it.

Grr.

The gist was, my last week was crazy busy, despite the fact that I did a hundred-and-one fun and exciting things (like book club, park with friend and babies, niece's dance recital, sew re-usable sanitary pads for girls in Africa, get a haircut, shop with Mom, visit Port Dover and have dinner with Dad's fam for father's day, take hubby out for breakfast for Father's day, get together for BBQ with Mom's fam for father's day...), me and my house are feeling chaotic and unorganized as a result.

So, this week:
I will make a point of being at home more.  I seriously don't know if I spent much more than 2 hours in a row in my house in the past week.  Definitely not in the past 4 days.  That's ridiculous.
I will make 3 suppers.  And eat them in my house, at my dining table.  And do all the dishes and clean up afterward.
And I will attempt to daily memorize some scripture.  I've decided to try to memorize the Psalms.  I started last week with Psalm 1, and, so far, so good.  This week is Psalm 2.

And now, I am going to go upstairs and sit with that guy who worked long and hard at the Sound of Music Festival and steal some of his apple beer.

What's with today, today...?

hehehe...that quote has been in my head for a couple of days.  I need to watch that movie.

Today is great, actually.  The rest of the week has been kind of crummy.  Well, I've been feeling kind of crummy, the week itself has been good.  Mood is a funny thing.  I have no reason to be feeling "down."  Life is good, we are so blessed, the circumstances are great.  But I have been feeling like junk.  And then I feel guilty...I know that I have no "reason" to feel crummy.  I feel like I should "mind over matter" it and get off my butt and get things done...but I still spent most of yesterday watching TV with my content little dude playing on the bed beside me.  Why are we so afraid of the 'D' word?...and where is the line between baby blues and depression?  Who knows.  I'm feeling much better today, thankfully.

And how could I not?  I spent a good morning with good mama friends, my wee one went down for a nap easily as soon as we walked in the door, and then I made myself bacon and eggs and yummy coffee for lunch.  It's one of those comfy rainy days.

Anyway, I'm supposed to be packing for us to head off to our denomination's annual convention, which I'm really looking forward to.  Good worship, good workshops, a chance to connect with people, and my parents will be there too, which is nice.  A nice little mini business-vacay.  And full days with my James.  Hooray!

I leave you with a link to Mothering Magazine's Top 25 Articles  If you're sick of hearing about breastfeeding and cloth diapers, don't bother.  If, like me, you can't get enough, head on over.  Or if you want something to think about and stretch your mind a bit, check out the one on medical marijuana for nausea during pregnancy.

And have a good rest of the week!

Magnificent Mondays

Monday is my favourite day around here, which always feels a little funny, considering most of the world groans over Mondays.

James doesn't work until 1:00 on Monday afternoons.  So Mondays have become this beautiful time of resting and connecting and preparing for the week ahead.  Sure, weekends are great, but they are often filled with outings and errands and visiting, all of which are good, but not always restful.  No matter how busy the weekend is, we always know that Monday mornings are not far off.  Monday mornings are for us, and nothing else gets in the way of that.

On Mondays, we (or one of us) usually sleep in.  We enjoy a nice breakfast together.  I pull out the white board weekly calendar and we talk about what's happening in the coming week.  It's a great way to make sure we know what the other person's up to, helps us trouble shoot problems (wait...if you have a meeting on Tuesday night and I was going to go to...who's hanging out with Haydon?)  It also helps us to regulate ourselves "You mean there isn't a single night when we're both going to be home for dinner together!?  We need to cut back on our commitments..."  After we take care of business, we spend some time praying together, for our family, our friends, and our community.  And then James rushes to get ready for work (I love that he likes to spend as much time with us as possible...even if it means throwing lunch together and throwing his work clothes on at the last minute, when he should already be in the car).

So, basically Mondays are great.  Add to that the fact that I have one awesome husband, who got up this morning at 6 with Haydon so that I could sleep in, and then was able to crawl back in bed at 7:30 when our early riser was ready for a nap, and then got up and made a great breakfast for us to share over our meeting, and you get one magnificent Monday.  Being married to a saint is pretty great.

Wonderful Windy Wednesday

I love Wednesdays.  This one is no exception.

See, they usually start with play group, which is a handful of mummas with little ones who get together in someone's basement and eat cookies or fruit and talk baby while toddlers run around and play.  And sometimes scream, but mostly play.  It's close enough that I can walk, and on gorgeous sunny days like this, there's nothing better than walking to visit friends.  And the kids were hilarious today - I kept wishing I had a camera as a bunch of the toddlers walked around with butterfly nets on their heads. 

After play group, I headed to Little Bird on Ottawa Street.  Little Bird is a great little kids consignment shop, which is also home to re*diaper.  I bought diapers, diaper detergent, shorts and sandals for Haydon.  I spent too much money.  It was wonderful. (PS - I still have 3 10% of coupons for Little Bird for whomever speaks up.  Seriously people, just comment, and they're yours).

Then I walked home.  And I pondered how much I love city living, and how much I love Hamilton, and how much I love that I can walk to meet great people, and then walk to buy good quality used kids stuff and cloth diapers, and just how great and wonderful and sustainable it is and all that good crap.

And then my darling baby fell asleep in the stroller, and I got home and parked him in the back yard while I hung out my clothes which were dry in about 2 minutes because it's so stinkin' windy (downside to so stinkin' windy is that our recycling doesn't get picked up until really late in the day, and the neighbour's blue bin and its contents are all over my yard.  bummer).  Haydon managed to stay asleep long enough for me to hang out the clothes, make lunch, sit and read outside while eating lunch.

Speaking of reading - I'm reading "Babyproofing Your Marriage."  It's pretty darned good!  I picked it up at the library (which I can WALK to!) yesterday.  I was a bit skeptical, but after a few chapters I'd definitely recommend it to people with young kids.  Tips on avoiding "midnight chicken" (pretending you don't hear the baby crying while hoping your spouse, who's doing the same thing, gets up first), scorekeeping, and all kinds of other good stuff.  Definitely valuable for both spouses to read...St. James is thrilled I have more reading material for him.  Poor man doesn't like reading near as much as I do, nor does he have as much time as I do, nor does he read as fast as I do.  It's a rough life, being my husband :P

Now, I'm going to go nap while Haydon has his late afternooner.  And I can do this, because my Itialian Nona neighbour just gave me a piping hot container of meat-sauce, so all I need to do for dinner now is boil water and toss in the pasta.

I love Wednesdays.

Life is GOOD

My son, my dear son, my dear darling son who is almost perfect except for his inability to sleep more than 2 hours most nights despite being 4 months old SLEPT 9 HOURS LAST NIGHT! He went to bed at 7. He woke up at 4. Life is good.

I will give you a moment to let that sink in.

After 4 months of interrupted sleep, I got to sleep for 6 whole consecutive hours. Life is good.

And then, when he got up again to eat at 6:15 and I figured he'd be up for the day, St. James said he'd get up with him so I could sleep a bit longer. Life is good.

And then, he fell asleep after his 6:15 feeding, and St. James got to crawl back in bed and cuddle before slipping off and quietly getting ready for work so I could sleep even longer. Life is good.

And then, when dear darling baby woke up around 8, I brought him into bed with me and we cuddled and giggled and gurgled together for awhile (he did most of the giggling and gurgling, just to be clear). Life is good.

And then, when I fed him again, he fell asleep just long enough for me to have a decent shower, and woke up smiling and chatting again as I got out. Life is good.

And then, he sat happily in his little chair playing with toys while I made delicious eggs which I ate in my beautiful home while looking out a the bright sunny day. Life is good.

Irony? A friend is coming this afternoon to spend time with my babe so I can get some rest after a week of crappy nights. But now we can visit.

Life is good.

Things I Love Right Now

Literally, right now.

Haydon just went for a nap after having a super-fun play time (in which he kinda-sorta rolled over. Ok. I helped him a bit. But it was still exciting). He's also hanging on to things on his own and bringing them up to his mouth. AND he found his thumb after a month of trying. And, while falling asleep in my arms while I was singing and praying over him he did a whole bunch of beautiful sleep smiles. I needed this mom-day after yesterday's mom-day.

And Feist. Secret Heart. Great song.

And friends coming for dinner. I should maybe get started on that while my boy sleeps! SLEEPS! Glory joy hallelujah! (I knew a girl named that once...I'm not kidding. She was pretty great).

Wise Words

James just found a journal I thought I had lost the last time I was at camp for the summer (2008). I was so glad he came across it - I had been reading Richard Foster's Freedom of Simplicity that summer and had written many, many quotes from it in my journal. It is jam packed with life-giving concepts. Read it. We decided that we are going to read it together over the next little while.
Here's the quote that jumped out at me tonight as I thumbed through what I had written in my journal:

Develop close friendships and enjoy long evenings of serious and hilarious conversation. Such times are far more rewarding than all the plastic entertainment that the commerical world triest to foist upon us. Value music, art, books, significant travel. If you are too busy to read, you are too busy. Discover prayer as evening entertainment. (Freedom of Simplicity, 154)

Oh, Richard. You are so wise. His book is full of little nuggets like that. Seriously, you should read it. (I just used the word "nuggets" to refer to something other than chicken. I think that puts me in the old fogey category).

I haven't blogged in ages. Remember that week that I was being crazy productive AND blogging about it? Yeah, that can only last so long. Last week I opted just for the productive part. The kitchen DID get done, I'll post pictures sometime. Other headlining news: I started scrapbooking and crocheting (fun!), my easy baby has started fussing multiple times a day and won't sleep, and I developed mastitis.

Coffee and Perogies

Well, I've lost a bit of my momentum in the organization department, but that's ok. I spent time with my favourite guys this morning, and that's just as valuable! On Tuesdays James doesn't go in to work until the afternoon, so we've earmarked those days to be our time to connect and pray together. This morning we went for a walk with Charlie and Haydon and prayed for our families, our church, our neighbourhood and ourselves. Good times were had by all. Good times were made even better by McDonald's free coffee, which inspired me to direct our walk toward Springy's so I could get a cupholder for the stroller in which I could hold that glorious free java. Springy's is wonderful. If you're a parent of wee ones in Hamilton, you should really check them out sometime. We walked in, Anthony immediately noticed our squeaky stroller, and he oiled all our wheels and installed the cupholder while we waited.
Back to McDonald's. I have a guilt-filled, love-hate relationship with those golden arches. The hate is that whole multi-national corporation taking over the world and selling crappy food in throw-away containers thing, and the greasy fatty awfulness clogging up my arteries. The love is the glorious salty french fries and fantastic coffee, which is free for the next two weeks. I wonder if there's a limit on that. We have one just down the street. Do you think they'd think I was a complete nutter if I showed up twice a day for a free cup of joe? It might be worth the walk...
Of to lunch with my husband, who's making perogies as we speak, 'cause he's just good like that. In lots of places, I would be making the lunch while he gets ready for work, 'cause he's supposed to leave in like, 10 minutes, isn't dressed yet, hasn't got his supper ready, or any of those things. A good wife would be helping with those things so he could get out the door on time. Me? I'm blogging while he serves me lunch. There's a reason I call him St. James. I'm a lucky girl.

Mmm. perogies.

Colouring Books and Crochet Hooks

I bought myself a colouring book.

Last week, at my Bible study group, one of the kids was colouring quietly beside me while we had our discussion. She had a colouring book. It was one of the most beautiful colouring books I'd ever seen. I spent more time looking over at her colouring book than I did participating in the Bible study. Then, when she went to bed, I coloured a page.

The next day, I went to Citizen Kid and bought the same one.

It's a beautiful colouring book. Not just your usual old colouring and activity book. First of all, it's massive. The pages aren't numbered, but the back says there are over 360, and I believe it. Second of all it's just really darned neat. It leaves lots of room to create, not just connect the dots or stay in the lines. For example, there's a spread with a wolf in the top corner, and on the other page in the opposite corner, some pigs. In the top corner, it says "Oh no! It's a wolf! Make sure he doesn't eat the pigs!" Fantastic. Third, I really love colouring, and have been feeling the need to be creative lately, and am not good at doing that on my own, so, I figure I can benefit from the suggestions and the stepping stones that are laid out in this lovely colouring book. That, and I am forever finding paper to start lists and organize my life, so, why not just have a fantastic-amazing colouring book in which I can do all that stuff, and colour? Sounds good to me.

St. James was sitting beside me as I was looking over our bank info on the computer. "What else did you buy at Citizen Kid?" He asked, as he saw the amount that had been withdrawn. "Nothing. Just the colouring book."
"JUST the colouring book!?! You spent $28.00 on a COLOURING BOOK!?!"
"Yes. It's worth it..."

I then proceeded to tell him all of the wonderful things about the colouring book that I just told you. Then reminded him that we each have our own little bit of spending money, this was mine, and I don't have to justify it. So there.

Today, I bought crochet hooks. Just before Haydon was born, I tried to knit a blanket. I'd get about 4 rows done, make a mistake, not know how to fix it, and start over again. I did this about 5 times. Then he was born, and I stopped caring. But I would like to do something with that beautiful yarn, and I've heard that crocheting is way easier, so, I think I'll try that next. I just am really feeling itchy to create. Something, anything. Even if it is just one beautiful, colourful, to-do list.

Speaking of to-do list, I'd better go write one. I have this beautiful paper waiting...