Friday, October 22


I don't know how to be that person I want to be, that person I think I am somewhere down inside.

I was reading a couple of posts on a couple of blogs from a couple of pretty amazing women that I've never ever met.  They were thoughtful, and deep, and talked about their heritage, and their children, and being a mom, and loving Jesus.  There was so much intentionality in those words, in the lives they are letting me peak into.

And I want to be that too.  I want to be thoughtful about my mothering.  Connected to those beyond me, those family members who have contributed to who I am.

And then there's reality.  There's rushing to get to work and wash some diapers and find some healthy supper and maybe take a shower and be with my husband.  There's hitting the bed hard at the end of the day, exhausted, knowing that there will be crying from the crib next door in just a couple of hours.  There's needing to do it again tomorrow.

My life is not difficult.  My life is so blessed, and full.  I am well supported by my husband and family and friends and church community.  I have all kinds of simple luxuries for which I am so thankful.

But I am not good at cultivating that depth, that intentionality in my life that I long for.

And I need to go to work now.  After I help put away the groceries.


We have a municipal election on Monday.  It's a pretty tight race for mayor.  Here's a good article that tells you a bit about each of the front-runners:

In Hamilton, a three-way race for mayor goes down to the wire

I'll be voting for our current Mayor, Fred Eisenberger.  I appreciate his campaign style - not attacking others or outright boasting, but calmly sharing what he's done and what's important to him.  I also appreciate his emphasis on the arts and environmental issues.

Not sure who to vote for?  You can find some more info here:

Hamilton Civic League

Hamilton Spectator - Hamilton Votes

Be sure to get out and make your vote on Monday!

Wednesday, October 13

Tuesday, October 12

Playing Hooky

Hi.  Goodmorning.  I miss blogging.

Suck it up, princess, you've got a good job and a great family keeping you busy.

Speaking of which - just made the executive decision not to go into the office this morning, and stay home to get some stuff done around here.  Ok, so, I didn't actually have to be in the office, but I have a meeting this afternoon, and had planned to put in a few hours this morning as well.  Just decided in the shower that rather than running around like a nutter, forgetting my pump, and sitting in traffic, all the while feeling crummy about the fact that the babysitter is coming this afternoon and my house is chaos, I'd stay home and deal with some of the chaos (it's one thing for me to have to make my way through the piles...others shouldn't have to).

So, like, instead of being super-productive while the husband and baby are still sleeping, I'm blogging.  

Other reflection - having a hard time fitting Bible study into my daily routine.  Didn't have a hard time sitting down for a "quick" email/facebook check before my shower that quickly became 15 minutes.  Unnecessary, and will likely happen another 10 times today, and yet, for some reason it seems so difficult to schedule 15 minutes of devotional time into my morning.  Gotta make that happen.

Also.  I want you to know about this:

Ontario Pioneer Camp is a place I spent a LOT of time at growing up.  I worked for many summers as a part of their Inclusion Program, which provides an opportunity for children with special needs to have a great camp experience.  OPC is currently in the running to receive a $25,000 grant from Pepsi which would allow 20 children to go to camp - a huge blessing.  

YOU CAN HELP by going to the Pepsi Refresh Everything website and voting daily for the rest of this month.  You have to create a log-in, but once you've done that, it only takes a minute each day.  While you're at it, check out some of the other causes.  You get ten votes a day (they have to be spread among the various causes), so you might as well spend some of your screen time doing something worthwhile!

Thanks!  Hope you have a fantastic day!

Thursday, October 7

Crazy Going Slowly Am I...

I feel like I'm living in an Erma Bombeck book.  Seriously.  As I rush out the door in a whirlwind of books and bottles, it's pretty humourous some mornings. 

Tuesday, I was about 6 blocks away when I realized I had forgotten my breast pump.  And that I hadn't nursed Haydon in at least 3 hours.  It was a good thing I had left for work early.  I whizzed back, nursed him, grabbed the pump and left.  I'm sure the babysitter thought I was nuts.

I used to always look wonder why people with kids were so scattered.  Why couldn't they just show up somewhere, on time, with their kids dressed with matching socks?  And why were the kids always eating some sort of take-a-long breakfast?  Hahahaha...I so get it now.  Getting ourselves out the door early in the morning is quite the production.  And I only have one, and I can't get anywhere on time anymore (James asked me tonight if my mom, who has been known to be chronically late, was like that before she had mom existed before she had children!?!)    

And then there's days like today.  I know I'm not superwoman.  But somedays I feel like I'm starting to come close.

I went to work (teaching today).

I came home on my lunch break and nursed Haydon and hung clothes out to dry.

Went back to work.

Came home and asked the babysitter if she could stay a bit longer so that I could cut the grass and clean up the disgusting mess of grapes that have fallen from our grapevine 'cause we haven't gotten around to picking them.

Ok.  So, maybe that's not all that much.  It was in my head when I decided I'd make a beautiful supper too.  But then I decided that James could make his own dinner, 'cause I was going to be fed at book club.  

And then I sat on the floor while Haydon played and tried to finish the book for book club.  

And then I went to book club.

(Thank the good Lord for good books and great woman to discuss them with!!!)

But seriously.  There's something about being the person bringing home the bacon, AND doing the laundry, AND cutting the grass that just feels like...a lot.  

And don't get my wrong, that husband guy is probably still a Saint, but it sure has been a tough week as we sort out our new roles and added responsibilities on not a ton of sleep.  Let's just say that tempers have been a bit short this week.

Someone at book club asked me tonight if I did ridiculous things because I'm tired enough to be crazy.  

Oh, maybe.

Like get the coffee all set to go this morning, except not actually put any coffee into the machine, only to be super disappointed when I came back to a pot of hot murky water.

Or fill the car up with gas, only to look in my side mirror five minutes later and notice that I hadn't put the cap on the tank.

Or stay up blogging when I should be sleeping 'cause the husband's working on a report that will likely keep him up most of the night and so that baby's all mine when he gets up.  Every time (shall we bet on how many tonight?  I think four).

I used to be able to gather thoughts and right witty, smart sentences in posts that were somewhat themed and thought out.  This...this...I don't even know what this is.

Goodnight.  And Goodluck.
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