No Sleep = Angry Mama

For the love of all that's good in the world.

We need some sleep.

Or something.very.bad.might.happen.

I don't mind getting up in the morning (the very early morning).  Usually it means I plug in the Christmas lights, get a few toys out, grab my bible and sit on the couch while the wee man plays happily.  Usually this doesn't happen until after 5.

But no.  Not today. 

Today?  Today we started this glorious getting up ritual at 3:30.

Yep.  You saw that right.  3:30.

I nursed for an hour, then practically jumped up and down with the boy in my arms, desperately trying to rock/bounce him back to sleep.

But to no avail, so, at 4:30, we came downstairs, me thinking, at least I can just veg on the couch while he plays.

But, no.  Not today.  Today, he's a crank.  He doesn't want to play, he doesn't want to be held, he doesn't want breakfast, I don't think he knows what he wants, but it doesn't seem to be anything I can offer him.

Me?  I know what I want.

I want to go back to bed.

Rant

I really want to complain today.  I'm tired.  Haydon's teething (and has never been so cranky in his LIFE).  Money's a bit tight.  James is behind in his school work.  Things are just busy.

As I was feeling exhausted and overwhelmed this morning, I thought to myself "I should have another baby.  'Cause then I could be off work.  And all I want to do is sit in my pajamas...which I could do, if I had another baby."

How's that for logic - feeling overwhelmed with life...add another mouth to feed!  And bum to change.

Buuuuuuuuut the staying in pajamas would be nice.  So would the cuddles.

Whining

I'm going to whine.

I know my life is not that bad.

I'm still going to complain.

That kid was up 5 times last night.

Yesterday I was hanging onto the fact that he was still napping well.  He decided not to today, so I haven't got much left to hang onto.  He usually has a good morning nap; he goes down sometime between 7:30-8:30.  Maybe 9 if he slept a little later.

It was 10:45 today, and only after a good long walk in the wrap before he went to sleep.

And I have a headache, a sore throat, a job application to submit today, a line full of clothes to bring in 'cause there are no men around to do that today, and a disgustingly messy kitchen.  and bathroom.  and baby's room.  And I still haven't heard about the job I was interviewing for yesterday, and every other time that agency has been in touch with me within an hour, so I'm starting to worry...

There are still good things.

Like egg salad.

And potted mums.  I saw potted mums outside a convenience store.  My favourite season is coming!!!

The Anti-Sleep

I haven't complained about sleep yet this week.

I have requested a couple of books from the library.

(Haydon is currently finger painting with a puddle of puke he just produced.  Gross.)

That kid just won't nap!  Which would be ok, if he would let us sleep at night, but I NEED some sleep at some point!  And to make it worse it's not like he appears to be tired.  He's ridiculously happy. It's like he's taunting me as he giggles away in his crib. He doesn't have melt downs.  He doesn't fuss.  I on the other hand, do fuss, and have melt downs.

Last night he was up constantly.  His tummy bothers him.  We go pick him up, and as soon as he's upright, he burps (or pukes on me) , and is ready to go back to sleep.  Except for the times he's not ready to go back to sleep and takes an hour to go back to sleep.  I think I'm gonna make a doctor's appointment, 'cause I think if his tummy wasn't bugging him he'd sleep better.  Or at least that's what I like to tell myself.

Today he hasn't napped at all, except for about 20 minutes in the stroller.  And not for lack of trying.

He's developing sleep-related nick names.  Like The Anti-Sleep.  Mr. No-Nap.

But enough of that.

I've just come up with a delicious gourmet Kraft Dinner recipe.

No, this is not one of those mommy-blogs where you will find wonderful and nutritious organic meals to feed your children who sleep well while mama spends time doing meaningful things like read or pray.  Here, you will find one sleep deprived mama who doesn't always do a very good job of caring for herself (or her home lately) and loves KD.

But, I realize that lately I've been eating a lot of carbs and not much veggies or protein.

So, I've added to my KD chopped up wieners and broccoli.  Yum.

Maybe that's how I should make my fortunes.  A Gourmet Kraft Dinner Recipes blog.

Frick

I just spent WAY TOO LONG typing a ridiculously long post that I managed to delete right before I was about to post it.

Grr.

The gist was, my last week was crazy busy, despite the fact that I did a hundred-and-one fun and exciting things (like book club, park with friend and babies, niece's dance recital, sew re-usable sanitary pads for girls in Africa, get a haircut, shop with Mom, visit Port Dover and have dinner with Dad's fam for father's day, take hubby out for breakfast for Father's day, get together for BBQ with Mom's fam for father's day...), me and my house are feeling chaotic and unorganized as a result.

So, this week:
I will make a point of being at home more.  I seriously don't know if I spent much more than 2 hours in a row in my house in the past week.  Definitely not in the past 4 days.  That's ridiculous.
I will make 3 suppers.  And eat them in my house, at my dining table.  And do all the dishes and clean up afterward.
And I will attempt to daily memorize some scripture.  I've decided to try to memorize the Psalms.  I started last week with Psalm 1, and, so far, so good.  This week is Psalm 2.

And now, I am going to go upstairs and sit with that guy who worked long and hard at the Sound of Music Festival and steal some of his apple beer.

Poor, Poor Pitiful Me

I'm sitting staring at my screen, going back and forth between my email and facebook, wondering why no one is sending me love every 30 seconds to keep me entertained.  Hay-baber is sleeping (although I keep thinking he's waking up, otherwise I would've been sleeping too).  St. James is working this afternoon/evening.  And often, those days suck.  For some reason, despite the fact that he was home a mere 4 hours ago and we had a lovely morning together, Monday and Tuesday evenings drag like you wouldn't believe.  I start to get lonely and stir-crazy.  I thought my sister was coming to visit...we had different ideas of what "tentative" plans means.  I thought the timing was tentative...she thought the plans were tentative.  When I called she was making dinner for my fam, which, of course, just made me feel left out (which I know is ridiculous, considering they all live under the same roof.)
And, my husband, my darling husband, has misplaced my iPhone.  This is frustrating.  See, I will leave it somewhere (in this case on the back porch beside the chair I was in).  I will know it is there.  I will know I have to return to get it.  He will see it and think "Oh!  Rae left her phone!  I'll bring it in for her..."  And then I will return and it will not be where I knew I left it.  And, usually, he knows where it is...but for some reason, this time, he doesn't remember...
Good thing it's a beautiful day and the neighbourhood Little Casears has a crazy deal on and I have good friends nearby that will eat pizza with me...