(Preface: I am incredibly aware of and thankful for the privilege and blessing of being able to have a post-secondary education. )
So, I'm sitting in a class that wastes approximately 2.6 hours of my time on a weekly basis. The topic is fantastic, the readings are fantastic, the people in the class are fantastic, the professor is extremely knowledgeable...and yet, his weekly stream of consciousness blathering is less than fantastic. If it wasn't for the participation mark, I wouldn't need to be here - he doesn't even test on his lecture material, there's no midterm or final, I'm just warming my seat for 10% of my mark. In the meantime, I have been able to order some textbooks on amazon, which I needed to get done, so, I suppose that's good.
Education is a wonderful thing, but I am constantly amazed and frustrated by the structure/system of the undergraduate world. I don't understand how one is expected to function within this system. It makes me angry that I cannot both live a healthy, balanced lifestyle, and complete the bare minimum of my school work. Is it unrealistic to want to be able to cook proper meals (as in, not pre-packaged and frozen), walk the dog, read the newspaper,
and keep my home sort of in an orderly fashion, while I go to school work? I don't think so...and yet, if I break to do these things, I have constantly hanging over my head the reading not yet done, the assignment soon due, the studying I should do. I am amazed by students who somehow manage to complete their work, volunteer in the community, participate in school activities, and maintain their friendships. I'm finding the demands of a full course-load on its own overwhelming and unattainable.
It frustrates me to be in a program (Global Studies) that is constantly opening my eyes to many of the problems and injustices of our world, related to environmental and consumer issues, and yet after I read about and respond to these issues in my papers and assignments, I don't have the time to make changes in my own lifestyle to do my part in dealing with these issues. While I know I should be walking to the market to by locally grown food, it's all I can do to swing by the grocery store on my way home and grab a frozen pizza and a bag of baby carrots. While I know it's best for me to spend the time to by second-hand clothes and not be participating in some of the oppressive systems of capitalistic production, I don't have the time to look through rack after rack and maybe find a sweater that will work, when I know that I can run into a store in the mall, pick my size and colour, and leave. Despite my awareness that walking/busing places is possible and better for me and my world, the packed schedule I have right now makes it practically impossible to get everything in without the car. It is increasingly frustrating to have the awareness that comes with my education and be limited in my actions because of the demands of that same education. ARG!
So, that's my rant today. While I am so grateful for the ability to go to school, I am so ready to be done and put my learning in action. Instead of reading and writing about the problems of the world, I'd really like to be able to rearrange my own lifestyle in my own little corner of the world in an effort to live responsibly. Get me out of the world of ideas and into the world of actions!
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