Morning Tunes

It's a good thing there's music in this life.  Not sure what I'd do otherwise.

We sleep less in this house lately then we did in Haydon's first month.  The only thing that made that month harder is that now I've at least got breastfeeding figured out, and I'm not in pain from labour.  

Last night was particularly rough.  We seem to have returned this week to a desire for playtime in the middle of the night.  I'd gotten to the point that I could handle multiple night wakings.  James would bring him to me, he'd nurse back to sleep, I'd wake up in a fog 45 minutes later and carry him back to his crib (I can't sleep when he's in our bed, otherwise we'd just cosleep).   Getting up multiple times had become manageable...but being up for 1-2 hours in the middle of the night I just can't handle.  Last night (this morning?), Haydon got up at around 2, we nursed, then he decided it was playtime...James came in at 3 and said he needed me to take over.  Then he went downstairs and made himself hotdogs????  I think I got him back down around 3:30, then we were up for the day at 5:30.

It's hard to remember that James and I are allies, not adversaries, in this sleep war.  We do a pretty good job of taking turns and supporting each other, but, as the sleepiness increases, so does the selfishness.  Thankfully, we are pretty reasonable and level-headed - even in our disagreements.  This morning, we both lay in bed with Haydon crawling all over us, discussing who's turn it was to get up.  James had gotten up the past two mornings...but my "sleep ins" still required me to be up by 7 and getting ready for the day.  He got to sleep in 'til 8:30 on Tuesday...I'm green with envy.  Learning that it's important to express my needs/desires at time other than when we're both exhausted, begrudging the thought of having to crawl out of our warm cozy bed.  Lunch will be a better time to say that I need a day for "sleep in" to mean more than sleep 'til I need to get up for work.

In general we've learned that discussing sleep needs and night strategies is the best way to make sure that we share the load and don't get resentful...'cause in the middle of the night, I'm pretty sure it's NEVER my turn.  Deciding as we crawl into bed who will respond when avoids those argusations about who's been up more in the night while the crying crescendos from the next room.

Back to the music.  There were literally tears in my eyes as I changed the diaper this morning and stumbled down the stairs.  I grabbed my ipod.  I have a playlist called "morning tunes."  I made it long before I had a baby.  The original thought was that these were songs that would set my mind in the direction I'd like my day to take.  This morning, as I was pretty sure it was impossible to care for this needy little being in my sleepy stupor, the song that came on first was an oldie but a goodie by Audio Adrenaline..."If I keep my eyes on Jesus, I can walk on water...", and a few songs later, the reminder that "strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord..."

And so, with music blaring, I will get through this day.  By the grace of God, I will love this teething boy and his snoring daddy.  Doesn't mean it's easy...