metaphorically, of course.
I'm supposed to be writing an online test today for my correspondance course. So, of course, the website this test is on is completely unaccessible right now, taking like, 10 minutes (that's not an exaggeration) for each page to load. Which made my studying and last minute prep this morning take forever, and is now taking forever for me to actually load the test review and test, which is taking up too much time of my day. I have other things to do...but it's kind of hard to do them in between while I wait for pages to load, and so I sit. I'm getting really good at computer pinball.
Really, I haven't much else to say. I was just really bored while waiting for this page to load, and figured I might come up with something interesting...not yet.
Tuesday, January 29
Saturday, January 26
Darkness, Quiet and Warmth...
...the three things desired by my husband who came home from work puking. And so, I sit in my completely dark house (no, seriously - there is one tealight flickering in the window - James actually had sunglasses on while sitting in the darkened living room), with nothing to do, as most things I would like to do require light or make noise. I should've convinced him to sleep in the bedroom.
Anyway. So, here I sit with my laptop, as it is a relatively quiet and light-free way of entertaining myself. And, after reading countless other people's blogs, I thought "hmmm...I have one of those". Then I thought "but a lot of these people post really intelligent and interesting and insightful and inspiring things, and I don't have much that is intelligent/interesting/insightful/inspiring to say" but then decided to do it anyway.
So. I'm cold. Unlike James, I am not piled under a duvet. That's not related.
I had a rather productive day of schoolwork. Which is letting me do nothing this evening completely guilt-free. Which is nice. Because Sabbath is important, and really, techinically begins at sundown the night before. Also related to the productive and good day is that my NEW COUCH finally arrived! Yes, that's right, Rachel's Christmas-birthday couch is now in her living room. Which is lovely.
Although, I do kind of have mixed feelings about it. It's really sleek and shiny and new-looking. It changes the whole feel of the living room. It just doesn't have that humble, cottagey feeling to the same extent. And...I still haven't quite figured out how to guiltlessly enjoy luxuries. I'm sure there are ways that my couch money could've been spent that would have done a lot more than make me feel happy and comfortable in my living room. At the same time, I don't think it's wrong to be happy and comfortable in my living room (although, I was able to be happy and comfortable before the new couch - it just didn't look as nice). Anyway. I think as long as there are inequalities in this world it is right to be uncomfortable with luxury. Which also means I need to do something to address the inequalities. Which is also hard.
I'm taking a course on social inequality this semester. It's funny how I can think I am all for equality and the things that are necessary to achieve it, and then I read about a theorist that thinks that as a step toward equality we should end the inheritance of wealth and property and all of a sudden I'm like "WHAT!? That's ludicrous! I'm entitled to my families' stuff...." Which I'm probably not. It was good for me to read that and discover my reaction. Oh stuff. Why do we want more,more,more,more,more....?
Hmm. A song I heard this week comes to mind "With Jesus our only possession/then giving becomes our delight/It's hard to imagine the freedom we find/From the things we leave behind"
Which I can totally attest to from some of my personal experiences.
But it doesn't change the fact that I'm excited about my new couch.
Sigh.
Anyway. So, here I sit with my laptop, as it is a relatively quiet and light-free way of entertaining myself. And, after reading countless other people's blogs, I thought "hmmm...I have one of those". Then I thought "but a lot of these people post really intelligent and interesting and insightful and inspiring things, and I don't have much that is intelligent/interesting/insightful/inspiring to say" but then decided to do it anyway.
So. I'm cold. Unlike James, I am not piled under a duvet. That's not related.
I had a rather productive day of schoolwork. Which is letting me do nothing this evening completely guilt-free. Which is nice. Because Sabbath is important, and really, techinically begins at sundown the night before. Also related to the productive and good day is that my NEW COUCH finally arrived! Yes, that's right, Rachel's Christmas-birthday couch is now in her living room. Which is lovely.
Although, I do kind of have mixed feelings about it. It's really sleek and shiny and new-looking. It changes the whole feel of the living room. It just doesn't have that humble, cottagey feeling to the same extent. And...I still haven't quite figured out how to guiltlessly enjoy luxuries. I'm sure there are ways that my couch money could've been spent that would have done a lot more than make me feel happy and comfortable in my living room. At the same time, I don't think it's wrong to be happy and comfortable in my living room (although, I was able to be happy and comfortable before the new couch - it just didn't look as nice). Anyway. I think as long as there are inequalities in this world it is right to be uncomfortable with luxury. Which also means I need to do something to address the inequalities. Which is also hard.
I'm taking a course on social inequality this semester. It's funny how I can think I am all for equality and the things that are necessary to achieve it, and then I read about a theorist that thinks that as a step toward equality we should end the inheritance of wealth and property and all of a sudden I'm like "WHAT!? That's ludicrous! I'm entitled to my families' stuff...." Which I'm probably not. It was good for me to read that and discover my reaction. Oh stuff. Why do we want more,more,more,more,more....?
Hmm. A song I heard this week comes to mind "With Jesus our only possession/then giving becomes our delight/It's hard to imagine the freedom we find/From the things we leave behind"
Which I can totally attest to from some of my personal experiences.
But it doesn't change the fact that I'm excited about my new couch.
Sigh.
Thursday, January 10
All things new
I am so pumped for this semester. I just looked over all of the syllabi for my courses, plotted out due dates and deadlines on my calendar, and it looks pretty sweet! I only have THREE PAPERS!!! I can hardly believe it! And they're all spaced out quite well. Add that to the fact that I only need to be in Waterloo 3 days a week, and I really like my courses and profs, and it's looking like a pretty sweet semester. Thank God! I couldn't take another one like last fall.
So, school is looking good. Our house is ALSO looking good -finally! We got the living room/dining room done over the holidays. It's so nice to have a finished space to relax and work in! I'm quite excited. It should make getting school work done a LOT easier, not being in chaos. We're having a housewarming party on Saturday. It'll be good to get some people in here!
I like fresh starts. I am resolving to strive for balance this year. No specific resolutions, I'm just going to try to care for myself. So, discipline in my work, protecting my rest, spending time with God, having fun, enough exercise, healthy food, but nothing in extreme. That's the goal.
Here's some pics of the house (and the pets, 'cause they're so cute).
Friday, December 7
The ceremonial pre-paper post
Ah yes, I'm just about to start writing a paper, so of course, I must procrastinate just a little bit more by spewing into blogspace. Of course, I've been just about starting this here paper for almost 2 hours now...I spent the morning finishing up some research, took a little nap, woke up at 1:45, and was like "Yeah man! I can totally finish this baby today! Let's go!" And...went to make lunch. Then realized I wasn't hungry, stared at said lunch for awhile, eventually ate lunch...and frittered away time on facebook and looking at the requirements for the paper over, and over, and over again. That said, things were percolating in my head. So it was productive in terms of creative progress, just not in terms of words-on-page progress.
But now I am here, on the big comfy couch (I think I'm gonna look for a new couch with my birthday money in January...release the parental hand-me-downs to Hil and Maclean), laptop on (you guessed it) lap, blankies all 'round, phone handy so I don't have to get up if it rings, books piled on all sides, research notes scattered around, Supertramp on the record player (did I mention James brought home a record player for me from work?!!! AND that I found the records?! Hooray!). Ugh...just noticed kitchen lights are on and I should probably go be responsible and turn them off so as not to waste money and energy. But, coincidentally, the Supertramp needs to be turned over, so, it's as good a time as any to get up.
It's amazing how much useless blather I can produce in like, 2 minutes, when it takes me painful hours to write the useful stuff. Honestly, if this was double spaced, 1-inch margins, 12 pt font, I'd be halfway through page 2 by now...
So, here's the semi-intelligent, quasi-philosophical part of the post (I was reflecting the other day on how I called the blog "Big Thinks" and have lately filled it with fluff). Usually when I'm into papers and heavy schoolwork, I think of all the other things I'd rather be doing, which is in the big picture, parenting. So, this morning I was looking at other people's baby pictures on facebook, and James says "Baby baby baby...all I hear is baby baby baby...well...paper paper baby baby paper..." Later while I was researching, I was reading some woman's thesis on how women need divine figures that are complex females to develop a healthy sense of self, and she was arguing that Christianity doesn't provide this for women because the only major feminine figure in Christianity is Mary, and we only see her in the role of a mother, not as a sexualized, fully human being. The author was saying that men have an image to seek to shape their identity towards in God/Jesus, but women don't have an equivalent. Personally, I disagree. I don't believe that we can consider God "male", as he is outside of humanity. I think that God encompasses both feminine and masculine traits. I think that this is one of the reasons we gravitate toward marriage relationship with the opposite sex, as a way of mirroring the wholeness that is found in God and a way of reflecting his image and participating in his character. (I know that sounds a little yin-and-yangy...but I think there is truth to it). As I was reflecting on the character of God, and the wholeness that we see in his character and the trinity, I was thinking about the fact that there is the parent-child aspect of the trinity too. God's loving, nurturing character as expressed through Jesus is so important. Being made in God's image, I believe we have those characteristics planted in us too. Therefore, because I am made in God's image, I want babies. (disclaimer - I am not claiming that EVERYONE is called to marriage or parenthood, because I know that is certainly not the case - please don't read this as saying that those are the proper ways to take part in the character of God - they are A way).
So. Now on to the stuff that contributes to my grades.....
But now I am here, on the big comfy couch (I think I'm gonna look for a new couch with my birthday money in January...release the parental hand-me-downs to Hil and Maclean), laptop on (you guessed it) lap, blankies all 'round, phone handy so I don't have to get up if it rings, books piled on all sides, research notes scattered around, Supertramp on the record player (did I mention James brought home a record player for me from work?!!! AND that I found the records?! Hooray!). Ugh...just noticed kitchen lights are on and I should probably go be responsible and turn them off so as not to waste money and energy. But, coincidentally, the Supertramp needs to be turned over, so, it's as good a time as any to get up.
It's amazing how much useless blather I can produce in like, 2 minutes, when it takes me painful hours to write the useful stuff. Honestly, if this was double spaced, 1-inch margins, 12 pt font, I'd be halfway through page 2 by now...
So, here's the semi-intelligent, quasi-philosophical part of the post (I was reflecting the other day on how I called the blog "Big Thinks" and have lately filled it with fluff). Usually when I'm into papers and heavy schoolwork, I think of all the other things I'd rather be doing, which is in the big picture, parenting. So, this morning I was looking at other people's baby pictures on facebook, and James says "Baby baby baby...all I hear is baby baby baby...well...paper paper baby baby paper..." Later while I was researching, I was reading some woman's thesis on how women need divine figures that are complex females to develop a healthy sense of self, and she was arguing that Christianity doesn't provide this for women because the only major feminine figure in Christianity is Mary, and we only see her in the role of a mother, not as a sexualized, fully human being. The author was saying that men have an image to seek to shape their identity towards in God/Jesus, but women don't have an equivalent. Personally, I disagree. I don't believe that we can consider God "male", as he is outside of humanity. I think that God encompasses both feminine and masculine traits. I think that this is one of the reasons we gravitate toward marriage relationship with the opposite sex, as a way of mirroring the wholeness that is found in God and a way of reflecting his image and participating in his character. (I know that sounds a little yin-and-yangy...but I think there is truth to it). As I was reflecting on the character of God, and the wholeness that we see in his character and the trinity, I was thinking about the fact that there is the parent-child aspect of the trinity too. God's loving, nurturing character as expressed through Jesus is so important. Being made in God's image, I believe we have those characteristics planted in us too. Therefore, because I am made in God's image, I want babies. (disclaimer - I am not claiming that EVERYONE is called to marriage or parenthood, because I know that is certainly not the case - please don't read this as saying that those are the proper ways to take part in the character of God - they are A way).
So. Now on to the stuff that contributes to my grades.....
Monday, December 3
I better be really smart at the end of this...
So, I think this has officially been the hardest semester of my university career. I'm not exactly sure why, but for some reason, despite the fact that I feel like I am constantly doing school work, I am perpetually behind, which is foreign to me. But it's almost over. The 17th, is fast approaching. This week alone is just madness. I have a paper due today (which I am just about to start...bring on the long night), then an exam on Saturday, and final papers due next Monday and Tuesday. I haven't quite figured out how I'm going to adequately study and research/write two papers, and go to work, but, I guess I'll find out! Next semester is going to be so much more manageable...I can't wait.
hehehe...Charlie loves the snow. He has never spent so much time outside without one of us to entertain him. He's out there frolicking and eating the snow. It's very funny.
I am SO looking forward to finishing exams so we can finally get settled in our house! James is going to finish the floor in the master bedroom next week sometime, so we can actually unpack and take all of the extra furniture out of the would-be dining room...and then when I'm done school I'm going to paint/wallpaper/make pretty the main living room/dining areas, and this place will finally be liveable! Not that it's not know, we're just limited to 2 rooms. It will be nice to be fully unpacked. And have my PIANO!!!!
Ok. That was my little distraction before delving into this paper. I go a little crazy at home by myself with only books and animals to talk to...this way I can pretend that I've actually interacted with people out there, somewhere...
stay warm,
Rae
hehehe...Charlie loves the snow. He has never spent so much time outside without one of us to entertain him. He's out there frolicking and eating the snow. It's very funny.
I am SO looking forward to finishing exams so we can finally get settled in our house! James is going to finish the floor in the master bedroom next week sometime, so we can actually unpack and take all of the extra furniture out of the would-be dining room...and then when I'm done school I'm going to paint/wallpaper/make pretty the main living room/dining areas, and this place will finally be liveable! Not that it's not know, we're just limited to 2 rooms. It will be nice to be fully unpacked. And have my PIANO!!!!
Ok. That was my little distraction before delving into this paper. I go a little crazy at home by myself with only books and animals to talk to...this way I can pretend that I've actually interacted with people out there, somewhere...
stay warm,
Rae
Monday, November 12
Free Rice, Word Nerds!
FreeRice is a sister site of the world poverty site, Poverty.com.
FreeRice has two goals:
1. Provide English vocabulary to everyone for free.
2. Help end world hunger by providing rice to hungry people for free.
This is made possible by the sponsors who advertise on the site.
Whether you're the CEO of a large corporation or a self employed street bum, improving your vocabulary can improve your life. It's a great investment in yourself.
Perhaps even greater is the investment your donated rice makes in hungry human beings, enabling them to function and be productive. Somewhere in the world, a person is eating rice that you helped provide... for nothing.
Visit the site, and do something positive today other than achieving a new high score on Guitar Hero. http://www.freerice.com/in
Thursday, October 25
excuse me while I rant for a moment...
(Preface: I am incredibly aware of and thankful for the privilege and blessing of being able to have a post-secondary education. )
So, I'm sitting in a class that wastes approximately 2.6 hours of my time on a weekly basis. The topic is fantastic, the readings are fantastic, the people in the class are fantastic, the professor is extremely knowledgeable...and yet, his weekly stream of consciousness blathering is less than fantastic. If it wasn't for the participation mark, I wouldn't need to be here - he doesn't even test on his lecture material, there's no midterm or final, I'm just warming my seat for 10% of my mark. In the meantime, I have been able to order some textbooks on amazon, which I needed to get done, so, I suppose that's good.
Education is a wonderful thing, but I am constantly amazed and frustrated by the structure/system of the undergraduate world. I don't understand how one is expected to function within this system. It makes me angry that I cannot both live a healthy, balanced lifestyle, and complete the bare minimum of my school work. Is it unrealistic to want to be able to cook proper meals (as in, not pre-packaged and frozen), walk the dog, read the newspaper,
and keep my home sort of in an orderly fashion, while I go to school work? I don't think so...and yet, if I break to do these things, I have constantly hanging over my head the reading not yet done, the assignment soon due, the studying I should do. I am amazed by students who somehow manage to complete their work, volunteer in the community, participate in school activities, and maintain their friendships. I'm finding the demands of a full course-load on its own overwhelming and unattainable.
It frustrates me to be in a program (Global Studies) that is constantly opening my eyes to many of the problems and injustices of our world, related to environmental and consumer issues, and yet after I read about and respond to these issues in my papers and assignments, I don't have the time to make changes in my own lifestyle to do my part in dealing with these issues. While I know I should be walking to the market to by locally grown food, it's all I can do to swing by the grocery store on my way home and grab a frozen pizza and a bag of baby carrots. While I know it's best for me to spend the time to by second-hand clothes and not be participating in some of the oppressive systems of capitalistic production, I don't have the time to look through rack after rack and maybe find a sweater that will work, when I know that I can run into a store in the mall, pick my size and colour, and leave. Despite my awareness that walking/busing places is possible and better for me and my world, the packed schedule I have right now makes it practically impossible to get everything in without the car. It is increasingly frustrating to have the awareness that comes with my education and be limited in my actions because of the demands of that same education. ARG!
So, that's my rant today. While I am so grateful for the ability to go to school, I am so ready to be done and put my learning in action. Instead of reading and writing about the problems of the world, I'd really like to be able to rearrange my own lifestyle in my own little corner of the world in an effort to live responsibly. Get me out of the world of ideas and into the world of actions!
So, I'm sitting in a class that wastes approximately 2.6 hours of my time on a weekly basis. The topic is fantastic, the readings are fantastic, the people in the class are fantastic, the professor is extremely knowledgeable...and yet, his weekly stream of consciousness blathering is less than fantastic. If it wasn't for the participation mark, I wouldn't need to be here - he doesn't even test on his lecture material, there's no midterm or final, I'm just warming my seat for 10% of my mark. In the meantime, I have been able to order some textbooks on amazon, which I needed to get done, so, I suppose that's good.
Education is a wonderful thing, but I am constantly amazed and frustrated by the structure/system of the undergraduate world. I don't understand how one is expected to function within this system. It makes me angry that I cannot both live a healthy, balanced lifestyle, and complete the bare minimum of my school work. Is it unrealistic to want to be able to cook proper meals (as in, not pre-packaged and frozen), walk the dog, read the newspaper,
and keep my home sort of in an orderly fashion, while I go to school work? I don't think so...and yet, if I break to do these things, I have constantly hanging over my head the reading not yet done, the assignment soon due, the studying I should do. I am amazed by students who somehow manage to complete their work, volunteer in the community, participate in school activities, and maintain their friendships. I'm finding the demands of a full course-load on its own overwhelming and unattainable.
It frustrates me to be in a program (Global Studies) that is constantly opening my eyes to many of the problems and injustices of our world, related to environmental and consumer issues, and yet after I read about and respond to these issues in my papers and assignments, I don't have the time to make changes in my own lifestyle to do my part in dealing with these issues. While I know I should be walking to the market to by locally grown food, it's all I can do to swing by the grocery store on my way home and grab a frozen pizza and a bag of baby carrots. While I know it's best for me to spend the time to by second-hand clothes and not be participating in some of the oppressive systems of capitalistic production, I don't have the time to look through rack after rack and maybe find a sweater that will work, when I know that I can run into a store in the mall, pick my size and colour, and leave. Despite my awareness that walking/busing places is possible and better for me and my world, the packed schedule I have right now makes it practically impossible to get everything in without the car. It is increasingly frustrating to have the awareness that comes with my education and be limited in my actions because of the demands of that same education. ARG!
So, that's my rant today. While I am so grateful for the ability to go to school, I am so ready to be done and put my learning in action. Instead of reading and writing about the problems of the world, I'd really like to be able to rearrange my own lifestyle in my own little corner of the world in an effort to live responsibly. Get me out of the world of ideas and into the world of actions!
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